Worship and grief

Thursday, May 17, 2007
Over the last month I have been reading a blog that I've found which I'm not sure really how I came across it but it's really inspired,touched and saddened me all at the same time.

The blog is written by an Irish Pastor (Al) who has nursed his wife (Lins) through illness believing, praying, hoping God will intervene and is ultimately used to express the raw grief he feels from her recent death and is a frank expression of his emotions towards God and everything else.

We can learn all the theology in world but nothing prepares us for the theology of grief. We can sing 'Blessed Be Your name When I'm found in the desert place' but how easy is it to do that. This guy is learning the art of worship in the desert place.

Here's a small excerpt from Al's blog, four weeks after her death.

I sit in my ‘new’ bedroom, back in my mum and dad's house; my little sisters old bedroom, with a single bed, a few old photographs and cards Lins had sent me over the years, one of Lins’ dresses lies on my bed and I am surrounded by cardboard boxes containing the contents of Lins and my little house. I then realise that I am 27 and a widower and, still in a state of shock I ask the question, ‘God, how did I get here?’ And then I can’t help but say to Him, ‘God all I tried to do was serve You.’ I don’t like the story I find myself in. I don’t want to this to be my story. I am still hoping this is all it is - a story - and one day God will give Lins back and my real life can start again. I don’t want this to be my life. And yet I am powerless. I can’t do anything. I just have to go with the emotions that this stinking journey of grief takes me on. And this past week it has brought me to the place and emotions I have just described.

I'll let the rest of his blog speak for itself